Crew Wanted!

Crew Wanted!

Think you’ve got what it takes to sail the seven seas and explore some of the most remote, alien places on this planet? Seaburban is looking for those few hardy souls who still believe in the age of sail and are willing to carry the torch that has been thrust out to us by the great adventurers and explorers throughout history.

Send your answers to the questions below to the Shoreteam (svseaburbanshoreteam@gmail.com) and we’ll get back to you if we think your made of the right stuff. There are no right answers so let your imagination be your guide. As an aside, I’m always confused by the ‘There are no right answers.’ boilerplate as that would imply that there are only wrong answers or no answers at all. If no answers at all, then the question is ill-posed and needs to be rephrased or it’s an opinion poll in which case the exercise is pointless. But that’s just me…

1. Are you ready, willing, and able to take orders (orders mind you; not suggestions, helpful hints, or whimsy) from a stuffed, soporific seal?

2. How long can you stand under a cold shower?

3. Your shipmate is continually licking his fork clean and putting it back in the cutlery drawer. You:
a) Pull the fork out of the drawer wave it under his nose while ranting about shipboard hygiene
b) Stay up late at night and mark the fork with fluorescent dye so you never use it again
c) Accept the practice of doing the dishes in-extremis with either your fingers or tongue.

4. Revenge is a dish best served cold. So is:
a) Ravioli
b) Chili
c) Oatmeal
d) Corned Beef, turnip, and beet hash
e) All the above

5. Are you bothered by terrible smells that emanate from the head, your shipmates socks, spoiled and rotten food long forgotten in a barely accessible locker, and 4 month old damp, mouldy laundry?

6. You are easily entertained by:
a) Playing the only working CD aboard over and over again ad nauseum
b) Memorizing the longest, run-on sentence in Herman Melville’s Moby Dick
c) Telling and re-telling the same story over and over again to whomever is standing closest to you
d) A short piece of line that you practice tying the same 4 knots in

7. You consider sleep:
a) A necessary evil and wildly over-rated
b) Anything over 2 hours an unnecessary indulgence

8. The mate deems there is an on deck emergency. You, warm and cozy in your bunk deem otherwise. You:
a) Roll over and pretend you didn’t hear the mate’s call
b) Attend but wildly and very publicly protest
c) Attend but do nothing save scowl and curse
d) Attend in good cheer, willing to help and pitch in where need be even though this is the umpteenth time you’ve been called from your bunk to identify Polaris.

9. There is one tooth brush left on board and the voyage has barely begun. It has now been used to clean an engine part and is reeking of diesel. Will you still brush your teeth?

10. Do you enjoy:
a) Sleeping in wet clothes
b) Putting on wet clothes
c) Discovering that your only dry clothes have gotten wet
d) Discovering that QuickDry clothing is a marketing gimmick
e) Sitting and sleeping on wet cushions and mattresses

Good luck! And remember, we’ll call you if we’re interested!

Follow my tracks in real-time:
https://bit.ly/svseaburban