30 Jun Mayday C-Burbin
Morning rounds have become so routine I a almost unconscious doing them. Stepping back from the chart table I realized something was seriously wrong. Sir Salty McMayDay was not at his usual station. He was gone and nowhere to be found.
A man overboard is cause for the ship’s general alarm to ne sounded. I wasted no time, sounded the alarm and fingers crossed hoped to see Sir Salty at his mustsr station ready to do his duty. Podt and Starboard arrived, hastily pushing each other out of the way and karate-chopping into thin air thinking they might be called upon to repel boarders. But no Salty.
Scouring the deck proved futile. I orderd the ship hove-to thinking surely Sir Salty was swimming for all he was worth trying to catch up. I flung open the radio cabinet ready to send a Mayday and this note floated out …
To the Kapitin of the driest saylin tub evur to put to C:
As the shipz Cheef Medikul Offisir, I reekwest this here May Day kall be sent immeedeeatlee. It may bee allredee too late. Aftur, I ordur all aboard to save themselves. Sauve qui peut!!
Sir Salty McMay-Day
Cheef Medikul Offisir, Saylin Tub C-Burbinl
May Day May Day May Day
This hear iz the saylin tub C-Burbin C- Burpin C-Burbin
May Day C-Burbin
Our pozishin iz at C. We r ez to find as this hear rek iz the slowist saylin tub on the Pasifik Oshun
We r despuratlee short of grog and in grave and imanent danjur of runnin dri. Any saylur wurth hiz salt noze a dri ship is a dead ship.
We r a blu huld, white topd single masted sloop, 4 solz on bored. I rekon by the time any 1 getz here I will be the only cru left alive. The otherz will most likely haf either kilt themselves or gone over bored made krazy by drinkin diesel.
To save my self from a potenshullee murdurus diesel-fueled rampaj by one of the uthur kru, I will have locked myself in the forwud cabin with grog and supplize to hold out as long as iz possibul. Look 4 me there furst. Ignore the krazed pleze for help and murci from any nere dead diesel-drunks there may be.
Any vessul in the visinitee is reekwested to rendur immeedee-it assistins and save at least me. If you have no grog abored, ignore this here messij.
May Day C- Burpin
Follow my tracks in real-time: