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This morning, I found this note pinned to my forehead:

To the kaptin of the lubberly tub C-burbin:

It haz come to my attenshin that surtin artikles of witch I and all uther krew memburs haz sined have bean contravend in the most egrejus of waze.

To wit: On or about too mornings ago, you akting as watch keeper, did gift an uther krew membur, namely one PJ, a fish without consultashun with more seenure krew.

This is in direct violashun of standing artikle 231-a-89(I) witch states that no krew membur shall be given preferuns over an uther in any way. Further more, standing artikle 438-q-67(iv) states that any victuals aboard or found to be aboard shall be shared ekwilly amongst all krew.

I, Sir Salty McKnickers-In-A-Knot, do hereby rekwest that 1) This here greevance be duly interd in the Log and 2) That I be properlee compinsated.

Now, I know that it is not wise to entertain between-deck lawyers but Salty to his credit had a point.

As is the norm on all sea-going vessels, He and PJ did sign Articles before coming onboard. Salty brusquely passed a flipper over them and pretended to fall fast asleep but PJ, being a fighter pilot, went over them in fine detail not wanting somethings to come out of the sun and get him by surprise. Turns out that Salty must have been paying attention after all.

More importantly, however, I had given the fish to PJ and did not offer it to any other crew. So, again to Salty’s credit, guilty as charged.

I figured I better get to a solution before things got of hand. I pinned this to Salty’s forehead a few moments ago:

To Sir Salty McKnickers-In-A-Knot

I have received and acted on your formal grievance as brought to my attention this morning. As per your request, I have entered it in its entirety in the Log.

With respect to compensation, PJ in his capacity as fisher of fishes has agreed to fish for solely for your benefit for one hour each day ship’s work notwithstanding.

I trust this will bring this matter to a close. I await your response.


Etc, etc.

He doesn’t talk much, seems to sleep a lot but he knows what he wants. Give him that!

Follow my tracks in real-time: