Oh Captain My Captain

Oh Captain My Captain

Imagine my surprise to find this note pinned to the mirror in the head this morning…

To the Kaptin of the saylin tub C-Burbin:

Imajin my surprize and amazment to wake up aftur a verree short nap (the Line grogging not with standing) of 5 or sics munths to find this here tub back in the Pacific Oshun. In the Soth Eeste Tradz no less.

More importintlee, imajin my shok to discuvur that u haf lost yur last fishin luur and are lowered to the pointe where u ahr dragging lawndree and bear hookz behind this reck.

Purhapz it iz time to konsidur a chanj…

I am sur u wood agree that I have excelled in all asspectz while purforming in the gratelee expanded rolls and responsibillittees I took upon myself, under my own inishtiv no less, some munths ago. While my purforminz was exemplury beyond questshun, u albeit well intenshunned, haf had us meeandur slowly this way and that all the wile tryin to figur out where we r laburing over yur navigationalometriks and cursin yur luck. Az I pointed out to u beefour, we r at C. What more there iz to no, I nor any ov the othur krew cannot fathum.

Noing theze waturs like the back of my flippur, and more importantlee, where to find and ketch a fish or fishiz, I humblee  pripoz that I take ovur the duteez of Kapitin leeving u the trviul taskz of settin and makin sayl, steering, cookin, cleenin, shipz manetininz and upkeep, playin at ur navigationalofigurin (alltho not reekoired), weathur plannin and watchin, and cammunicashuns. I will haf the deemsnding and xaustin task ov pointin a flippur in the dirucshun we must go.

I am surtin that u will understand that in my new role as Kapitin, along with those all redee assumed, will reechoir me to be even more well rested and alurt when needed. To theze endz, my need for sleep will be even more preshus than beefore if I am to purforme at the hi-est levels. Wile asleep, no that I will undertake an intensiv and both mentully and fizicillee xhaustin traneing regime to keep me sharp, kurrent, and prepared for my duteez and rezponsibilliteez as Kapitin.

I awate ur happee accecptins of this generus and mutullee benifishunt offer.

etc, etc.

Sir Salty McAdmirul-and-Kommamdur

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