15 Dec Rampant Nakedness
I found this note neatly laid atop nicely folded clean clothes:
To The Smellee Bottum Kapitan of the Morulless Debached Saylin Tub C-Burbin:
As the hi-est rangking membur of the krew, and a membur in gud standing ov the C-fairurs unyun, it is my dotee to:
1. Inform yu that we r gratelee pleezed that yu had taykin the ahpurtunitee yesturday to haf a showur. Yu wur smelling like a kolonee ov C-lyins witch yu must addmit smell fairee bad indeed;
2. Hafin takin a shower, we though there wud be an end to yur kontinyude and rampant nakidness.
With all dorespect, let mee remind yu that in yur doteez as Kapitan, no matter the kind or size ov the vessel yu kummamd, yu must at all timez serve as an eggsampul to offisirs and krew alike.
Yur shame seemz to know no boundz as yur nakid nite and day. Even wen yur eating! It is givin me th e nite-terrurz and I fear klosin my eiz dreading what memory mite be dredged up to fritin me.
If yu pleze, take up theze clothes so as to end yur kontinuel dredful display and wonton disregard fur all that is gud and sivilized in this wurld and on this tub.
Follow my tracks in real-time: