Victoria’s Most Wanted
APB Results in Sir Salty McPartier Located!
It would seem that while Bert was working tirelessly attending press interviews, Facebook Live sessions and scrubbing salt off Seaburban, Sir Salty McPartier was up to his old tricks. Nine months at sea didn’t put a dent in Salty’s shore-going habits when given half a chance while on leave.
Thanks to an anonymous disturbing the peace complaint from a disgruntled hotel pool guest, Sir Salty has been found and returned to Seaburban just in the nick of time pending a departure for Gabriola Island. The complaint originated when a certain seal and an unnamed female companion created a ruckus at a Victoria hotel pool with a drunken and debaucherous display of public nudity, singing, and some rather choice words directed at a lifeguard.
Sir Salty’s recent round-the-world adventure had earned him a certain amount of notoriety and he was easily recognized before the authorities were called. Luckily, Salty was able to negotiate a deal for community service by hosting a series of lectures for the local inner harbour seal pup population aimed at the importance of proper human-seal distancing to help preserve future generations from the many corruptions of life on land. That and another banning from a local Victoria Inner Harbour hotel was enough to let Sir Salty off the proverbial hook yet again.
Numerous noise complaints, extravagant credit card charges at a variety of local pubs, and a very large hotel bill including way too many room service calls means that Sir Salty will now need to remain indentured at sea for the foreseeable future in order to pay off at least some of the debt.
When asked for a comment on his errant behavior Salty replied ” i is trullee sorree and apologizetic to my fellow guests at the pool that day. I was meerlee blowin off steemewith a new lady friend after 9 months at C with that ne’er do well and hopeless fisher Kapitan Bert and his measly, watered-down grog supply. After so long without fair rations I was overcome with joy and grog. I promise to keep my swim pants on and the barking to a minumum.”
Victoria has always been a sailor’s town and every harbour has it’s limits, but trust Sir Salty to push the envelope.
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